The Struggle of Survival
by nerdfightersunshine
Summary: Emma has been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis and faces an impending transplant. Will her new respiratory therapist, Killian Jones, help or destroy her in the process?
1. The Lungs That Didn't Quite Work

**DISCLAIMER: None of these characters belong to me. They all belong to their rightful owners.**

**This story is based on a prompt sent to me by ahookedheart.**

* * *

A young blonde skipped along the concrete on her walk home when her steps began echoing in her ears. She slowed her pace as she approached her house with her parents in tow.

"Emma?" Her mother called from behind her. "Are you alright honey?"

Before she realized it, she was bent over holding on to her knees with every ounce of strength she had. She felt like she was suffocating.

"David!" She heard her mother yell, as her father found his way to Emma's side.

"Emma, Emma can you hear me?"

She nodded at her father, trying to focus on his blue eyes. "In..hale..r…"

He slid his arms under her and called back to his wife. "Mary Margaret, get the keys from inside please?"

Her mother nodded and ran passed them, as Emma's eyes closed.

"EMMA!"

Her father's yell was the last thing she heard before everything went black.

* * *

When she woke up, she kept her eyes closed for a moment as she listened. She heard beeps and buzzes coming from a machine somewhere near her head. When she finally focused her attention she heard hushed voices and immediately found her mother's voice.

"So, what you are saying is her bronchitis wasn't just that? She doesn't have asthma? She has…How do we even explain this to her? She's only six!"

Emma slightly opened her eyes to see her father grabbing her mother's hand. She examined their surroundings to see that she was in the hospital. She closed her eyes again as the fluorescent bulbs burned into her eyes. The last thing she remembered was thinking that there was nothing worse than those lights. They reminded her of a movie she watched as a child where the main character was taken by aliens and all he saw were bright lights. A chill ran through her as she pushed herself up.

"What do I have?"

Even at six, her mother knew that she had the bravest child in the world.

"Hi Emma, I'm Doctor Whale. I'm taking care of you. Would you like anything?"

"I would like to know what I have please." David held back a smile at his daughter's insistence.

"Well, it's called Cystic Fibrosis."

After that, she knew the doctor was still talking but he might as well have been speaking another language. She had no idea what he was saying. Her skin was salty and her lungs weren't good? What did that even mean? The stupid aliens and their florescent lights were making it hard to focus.

"It's a life threatening genetic disease that causes mucus build up in your lungs and other organs, which is why you had a hard time breathing, Emma. But don't you worry, we're going to take care of you."

She stared into the florescent lights and thought to herself, _Okay aliens, take me now._

* * *

From that day on, Emma spent a lot of time with the aliens and their florescent lights. She blamed them for all of the different positions she had to be in during chest physical therapy. It was pretty difficult to explain to her friends at school that she wouldn't be in gym that day because they had to drain her lungs. It definitely wasn't something one explained at lunch. Honestly, it wasn't something people really understood so Emma simply stopped trying. She just became the girl who missed the class photos and homework assignments. She was the girl who barely came to class but always moved up to the next grade with them. No one really knew who she was until fourth grade.

Emma sat in the nurses office for her PT when a young girl with wild black hair and fierce eyes came into the office with a bloody nose.

The nurse fixed her up and sat her next to Emma while she went to handle the call that someone had spilled some type of bodily fluid somewhere.

Emma watched her from the corner of her eye when she saw a tear roll down the girls face.

"Hey," Emma said quietly. "Are you alright?"

The girl gave her a look of alarm, surprised as if she hadn't noticed she was there and just simply nodded. The girl looked down at the book in Emma's lap and smiled. The nurse had suggested that Emma bring a book to read on the breaks in between PT and so each week, she picked a new one to read through.

Emma paused as she saw the girl looking at the book and smiled at her. "Do you like wolves?"

The girl nodded. "Hi, I'm Ruby." It sounded silly while Ruby was holding her still bloody nose, and both of the girls laughed.

"I'm Emma, nice to meet you."

* * *

_Twenty Years Later_

Emma's eyes opened to see a wolf necklace dangling from the neck in front of her.

"Jesus, Ruby" she said pushing her friend backward, "a little breathing room please."

''Son of a bitch" she mumbled. Her eyes flinched at the recognition of the fluorescent lights above her. "What happened this time?"

"Hi Ruby, nice to see you best friend. I missed your beautiful face and my, it IS beautiful" Ruby mocked. It was true; Ruby was Emma's best friend. Since that day in fourth grade in the nurse's office, Ruby had stuck to Emma's side like glue. She was there for as many treatments as she could have been while they were growing up and even once brought a little stuffed animal alien to Emma during one of her hospital visits. When Emma asked what it was for, Ruby shrugged with a smile and said, "Since you visit them so much, they trust you with their children!" Emma wasn't surprised when Ruby was the first person she saw in the hospital.

"I'm not sure, we're waiting to hear from the doctor."

"Wait, I thought Whale was at some conference this month?"

At that, she heard a slight knock at the door. They looked up to see a handsome man holding a clipboard waiting at the door. Something about his eyes caught Emma's attention. They were blue, but it seemed like a changing blue like the colors you'd see in the waves of the ocean. She would have stared at him longer if Ruby didn't nudge her arm. Oh, she was staring. Oops.

"Hello," he said approaching them both, holding out his hand to Ruby and then Emma. "My name is Killian Jones and I'm the new respiratory therapist here. I will be tending to you while Doctor Whale is away."

He noticed how Emma seemed to be cringing away from the light. "I apologize for the brightness of the lights. I know it seems like an alien ship is overhead." He said with a chuckle, as the girls shared an alarmed look.

Ruby registered his look of confusion and decided to break the silence. "That it does. It is nice to meet you, Mr. Jones. Now, what exactly is going on with our little Swan here?"

He looked between the women, unsure if the patient would be comfortable with disclosing her information when he saw her nod. "It's alright. Ruby is allowed to know anything and everything. She also helps keep my parents in the loop."

He nodded. "Your lungs are tired from keeping up with your procedures. Doctor Whale would like us to start the evaluation process for a possible double lung transplant." He saw her flinch at the words. She knew this was a possibility. Doctor Whale had been mentioning it for awhile now but to hear that it would actually happen, that was something entirely different. Her friend – Ruby was it? – grabbed for her hand.

"Miss Swan, this can be a lot to take in but I want to assure you that we will do everything in our power to take care of you. This is a large amount of information and do not misunderstand me, there are risks. However, Doctor Whale would never suggest this on a whim. Doing this will allow you to have your best chance at your best life."

She nodded slowly with understanding. "And of course, this will not happen overnight. I will work with you on your therapy while we go through this process and we are here to answer any questions you may have, lass. For now, I will leave you two to discuss things but if you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask."

She gave him a nod and watched as he walked out of the room.

"Man what if you become like Iron Man or something? You know because he has the thing in his chest?"

"Ruby, did you even watch those movies? He takes it out!"

"But you're getting new parts and it's like-"

She held her hand up to silence her friend. "You are not geeky enough for this conversation, young one."

Ruby rolled her eyes and then turned seriously to her friend. "Emma, are you-"

"I'm fine Ruby."

Ruby let it go. She knew Emma better than anyone and if she wasn't ready to talk, no amount of pushing would change that. In her own time, she'd be ready to talk about it.

"Do you want me to hang out?"

"I'm actually pretty tired. By the way, where did I faint this time?"

"At Henry's play…"

"Oh my god! Henry! Is he alright? Where is he?" Everything had happened so fast that her mind couldn't process everything and she didn't think of where her son was.

"Don't worry, he's with your parents. He's just worried about you. I'd give him a call. I'll fill in Mary Margaret and David."

"Thanks Ruby" she said giving her friend a weak smile.

"Not a problem my little munchkin" she nudged her friends arm with a smirk. "I'll call you later okay? Your phone's on the table."

"Okay, thanks."

* * *

After Ruby left, she slumped back into the bed, grabbed her phone and scrolled down to the H's. Her heartbeat was pulsating in her throat. How in the hell could she explain this to him? He was ten. He wasn't young enough to think that getting new lungs was a simple procedure. She didn't want to scare him, but would he ever forgive her if something did happen to her and he didn't know what was going on?

Before she knew it, the phone was up to her ear when she heard him. "Mom!"

"Hey kid, what's up?"

"Are you okay? I was so worried. I saw you fall and I was in the harness so I couldn't get down right away and -"

"Henry, it's okay. I'm okay. On an important note may I just say, that was one hell of a Peter Pan you played!"

She could hear his smile through the phone. "Thanks Mom and thanks for coming to my play. I'm sorry if it strained you too much."

"Henry David, don't apologize. You did nothing wrong okay?"

He paused. "Okay," she heard her mother in the background, most likely begging for the phone, "do you want to talk to grandma?"

She laughed to herself. She knew her mother too well. "Yes please. Love you kiddo."

"Love you too Mom." She heard him reach Mary Margaret and say 'she wants to talk to you.'

"Hello? Emma?"

"Hi. Have you talked to Ruby?"

"Yes, your father is speaking with her now. Are we"

"No, I don't want him to know."

"You can't keep it," her mother said, trying to be discreet so the ten year old who was now watching television in the next room wouldn't understand what was going on.

"I know, I just, I can't yet, okay?"

"Okay. Are you, how are you doing?"

"I'm alright."

The silence hung in the air between them before she heard her mother whisper, "I love you Emma."

"I love you too Mom, I'll call tomorrow, goodnight" she said, hanging up the phone and placing it on the table. She slid under the covers until she slipped into exhaustion and a land where none of this existed.

* * *

Emma was shaken awake lightly by a nurse who had woken Emma many times before, Johanna.

"I'm sorry dear, but it's time for your treatment with Doctor Jones."

She opened one eye and glared at the lights before sitting up and placing her feet on the ground. Johanna pulled up the wheelchair and gave the girl a weak smile.

"Thanks Johanna," Emma smiled at the woman. "Your patience never ceases to amaze me."

At this, she heard a hearty laugh from the woman causing Emma to raise an eyebrow as she was pushed in the wheelchair down the hall. "I've been bitten, threatened and had bodily fluids thrown my way. I don't think waking you up from a nap truly requires patience my dear."

She smiled up at the woman, knowing that even if Emma had done any of those things, Johanna would approach it the same way she approached everything. With a smile and kindness. It was part of who this woman was and that was something Emma would be eternally grateful for.

Johanna pulled the wheelchair next to her seat and helped Emma sit down.

"Okay, the doctor will be here in a moment okay?"

"Thanks Johanna."

Emma hated waiting for doctors. She wondered why they even made appointments when they still ended up waiting for a minimum of half an hour to be called in and another half an hour for them to get into the room. As if he heard her distain for his profession, there was a knock on the door a few minutes after Johanna had walked out.

"Miss Swan?"

"Come in."

He opened the door and pulled a chair in front of her. "How are you doing today?"

She was taken by surprise by the amount of concern in his eyes. Most doctors said it, but there was no meaning behind their words. He was genuinely asking. "I'm, uh, fine."

"Even though Ruby thinks your Iron Man?"

"How did you?" She said with a smirk.

"I apologize, I couldn't help but overhear." He said, trying to hide his smirk. "You'd really be Darth Vader if you were a cyborg after the transplant but I assume that reference would be?"

"Lost on her? Absolutely." Emma chuckled at him. "So" she sighed, remembering why they were really there, "what is the treatment plan?"

"Well," he said, pushing up his coat sleeves, "Doctor Whale would like you to start Oscillating PEP, which sounds a lot more complicated than it is."

He looked to see his patient was no longer looking at his face, but at the tattoo on his forearm. She looked up at him and blushed. "I'm sorry, I just – may I?"

He lifted his forearm to her and he felt her eyes burning on his arm as she ran her thumb over the tattoo. She felt his discomfort and looked up at him. "So ostrich peeps?"

She felt his arm vibrate in her hand from his deep laughter. She let go of his arm as he said, "Oscillating PEP. It's where you blow out onto a device multiple times to loosen the mucus. Though ostrich peeps sound much more amusing."

"When do we start?"

"No questions, concerns?"

She shrugged. "I trust that you know how to do your job."

"Well then, we start whenever you are ready."

* * *

Later that evening, he was working avidly at his desk when a head popped into his office. "Have a good night, Doctor Jones. Don't work too hard now."

He smiled up at the custodian. "Have a good night Marco."

"Are you alright?" Marco asked, staring at Killian's arm which he had, without realization, begun rubbing.

"I'm fine, just a rash. Thanks Marco. See you tomorrow?"

The custodian nodded with a smile and closed the door behind him. Killian took off his jacket and stared down at the tattoo with her name in it. He rubbed his temples and closed the file in front of him. On the front of the file was a picture of a smiling blonde's face looking up at him. _Emma Swan._

* * *

Emma entered the therapy room, looking for his familiar face. Since their first meeting here, he was always waiting for her when it was time for her PT. She couldn't help but appreciate the constant reassurance, even though that was really just part of his job description.

Every day, he had been there waiting for her with a laugh or some ridiculous joke to get her mind off of the fact that her lungs were failing her, that her entire body was caving in on itself. Today, she found him looking somber while he set up her breathing machine in the corner of the room.

"Alright Princess Leia, did Han Solo not return your call?" She said, huffing and puffing from her determined walk over to him.

He let out a chuckle and steadied her with his arm. "I didn't know Darth Vader cared."

"Oh he ships it." She smirked at him. "Seriously though Jones, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, tired."

"Even if you weren't trying to rub your tattoo off of your skin, I'd know you were full of it."

Their eyes met and his mouth opened to say something when another voice interrupted him.

"Mom!"

Henry ran to his mother's side, hugging her tightly.

"Hey kiddo," she ruffled his hair. "What are you doing here?"

"Grandma and grandpa said we could come visit you today!" He looked at Killian. "Who is this?"

"Oh, sorry kid." She nodded to Killian. "This is Doctor Jones. He's taking care of me while I'm here. Jones, this is my son Henry."

Killian kneeled down on one leg and offered a hand out to Henry. "Nice to meet you Henry."

Henry shook his hand, gripping it as tightly as he could. David taught him that you can tell a lot about a man by how he shakes someone's hand. By the way this Jones guy looked at his mother, he wanted to know all about him because he wasn't going to be going away anytime soon. He giggled to himself because when he looked at his mother, he realized that she didn't see it yet, but he knew. Henry always knew, just like he knew his father would have never stayed. "Take care of her so she can come home soon."

"Scouts honor" Killian said, with a grin.

"Mom, grandpa and grandma are going to take me for some ice cream in the cafeteria while you finish therapy. Is that okay?"

"Sure kid, I'll see you back in my room. Be good, got it?"

"Aye aye captain!" He shouted back as he ran towards the door where his grandparents stood smiling.

"We'll see you after, Emma." Her mother shouted as they walked out of the room.

Killian waited until the door closed behind them, and then turned back to her. "He doesn't know."

"Excuse me?"

"You didn't tell him that you'll need a transplant."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Swan," he said placing his hand on her arm, "I by no means am judging you but as someone who has seen this scenario play out more than I care to recall, he should know. It's not fair to him or his father who has to keep this secret from his son."

"His father is not around." He could hear the ice crystals forming around her words.

"I'm sorry."

She pulled out her arm from under his hand. "Who the hell do you think you are? You have no right to even comment on what I do with my son."

"Emma," he reached out his hand toward her but she turned her face away.

"Let's just get this over with."

They sat in silence through her treatment. The only noise in the room was the echoing Emma's coughing as her lungs tried to keep up.

* * *

Emma returned to her room to see her son smiling up at her from her bed.

"Hi Mom!" He said, hopping off of her bed as Johanna helped her get out of the wheelchair and back in.

"How was the chocolate ice cream?"

His eyes widened. "How did you know?"

"Your face is covered," she laughed, unsure of why he looked like he had gotten caught in the act.

"Come on kid," she moved into her bed, trying not to wince in pain, "come tell me all about what I've been missing."

They talked and joked for what felt like hours until her parents got up to kiss her on the forehead. "Come on Henry. She needs her rest."

David winked at Emma. "Love you, we'll see you soon."

"Love you guys." She hugged them as tightly as she could, fearful of letting them go. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. Be good!" She said looking at Henry as he rolled his eyes.

As Henry walked out of the door, she saw him high-five someone as he passed. _Who in the –_

Then she heard his voice. "Thanks for the tip, Henry. I'll see you soon."

She watched her parents shake hands with Killian as he came in and sat in the chair by her bed, placing a cup of chocolate ice cream in front of her.

"I heard you like these." He said, searching her face for some sort of response.

_What a little traitor!_ She thought to herself. How had he even gotten Henry to tell him?

"Emma, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No," she said coldly, "you shouldn't have." She looked up to meet his eyes, only to see he was rubbing his tattoo again. "Will you stop that! I'm sure whoever Milah is would find it pretty offensive that you're trying to erase her existence."

The pain in her voice made it clear to him that someone had tried to do just that with her. "That is not what I'm doing."

"Then what the hell are you doing?" She said, gasping for air. Her lungs couldn't keep up with her anger.

"This is clearly upsetting you." He said standing up. "I just wanted to apologize, Swan. Enjoy the rest of your night."

He turned to walk away when she grabbed his arm. "No! You can't just say things like that and leave. Why are you befriending my son? Why are you bringing me my favorite ice cream? What is going on?"

"Swan," he said nervously looking at the machines that were now beeping around her, "I will tell you anything you want if you stop yelling and calm down. I'm not telling you this as the guy you're yelling at, I'm telling you this as someone who promised your son he would take care of you. You're causing yourself some serious harm."

She began to register the noises around her and took slow deep breaths as he retrieved her medicine and a glass of water. She took it as he watched the machines fall into silence.

He met her eyes, knowing exactly what they'd hold; the same questions she had just screamed at him.

"I don't want you to hide things from Henry because he's a great kid. This position he's in isn't right. I can tell you that because I was in it. Milah," he said rubbing his tattoo, "was my mother and she had CF, just like you and like you, she was faced with the same choices. My father did his best to support her decisions and her silence towards me. It broke his heart not to tell me that my mother was in a dangerous place, but" he sighed, "he respected her wishes."

He rubbed his temples with his thumbs and looked up at her very seriously. "He never should have. I resented them for not telling me, even though I didn't know then that that's what I was doing. He felt guilty for the rest of his life because I never got the chance to say goodbye to her. I never even knew she was fading away until she had died." His voice raised and was shaking with uncertainty. "Having to keep that secret from me killed my father. He drank his pain until his body couldn't handle it anymore, until it failed him."

"I'm sorry" she whispered, placing her hand on his arm.

"Emma, it took me years but I understand why my mother did what she did. She wanted to protect me because she didn't think I was old enough to understand what was going on. I get that. I get why she made her decision but she shouldn't have. My father and I drowned in regret and guilt because of her attempt to protect us. I don't blame her for trying to protect us, but as someone who has had to live that life, I can't watch you do that to Henry. Henry does not deserve that life. Swan, it's a hideous life."

They sat in silence until he saw her eyes move quickly in front of her and then back to him. He left out a chuckle.

"Eat your ice cream before it melts. Goodnight Swan." He stood up and walked towards the door, when he heard her faint voice from behind him.

"Goodnight Killian." He turned, gave her a smile and ducked out of the room.


	2. Sweaty Palm Syndrome

**A/N: I apologize for the long wait. I'm currently working on chapter 3 so hopefully it won't take as long as this one did. Please let me know what you thought here or on tumblr at nerdfightersunshine. **

**And as always, DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters. Otherwise, it would be called The Captain Swan story. **

* * *

The sound of buzzing made him roll over with a groan. His eyes glared at the phone that was going off on the nightstand as he reached over to grab it.

One new text message: Dr. Whale.

"_How is Ms. Swan progressing?"_

Killian felt a smile dance across his face at the mention of her name. He did not need any prompting to think of Emma. Since the day he met her, she had plagued his brain in a way that no patient should.

"_As well as can be expected."_

He couldn't risk Dr. Whale finding out exactly how he had been acting. He was still properly doing his job. If anything, he was exceeding at it because of his connection with her, but it would not been seen that way by the doctor. By even hinting at the idea of a connection with a patient he could lose his job. He was treading in some dangerous water.

* * *

Emma was in bed, tossing and turning. For some reason, her mind would not leave the conversation she had with Killian the night before. She saw a glimmer in his eyes, something that made her heart skip a beat. She knew she shouldn't be feeling her palms sweat and her heartbeat race at the thought of him and his gorgeous blue eyes. _Crap._ He was her doctor. She tossed and turned some more, trying to remove him from her thoughts. When she thought she had succeeded and began drifting to sleep, she saw his face. She pushed herself up and sighed.

Apparently, it was time to get up for the day.

* * *

He sat at desk in his home office for hours, trying to get work done. He poured through patients' files, trying to find something he could dig into but an idea kept pulling at the corner of his mind until he had to acknowledge it.

He moved the files off to one side of the desk and grabbed an empty sheet of paper, standing up to search for the tools he needed. He rummaged through one of the few boxes he had never bothered to unpack and found his charcoal pencil sets.

Killian spent the entire day reworking this image until it was completed. He smirked down at the picture, wondering what she would think of it. The sun had set a few hours ago and it was time to curl up in his bed until morning, so he slipped the paper into his briefcase, already anxious to give her the drawing.

The next day, he had come in early to give her the picture. He was nervous, even though he could pass this off as a friendly gesture, he knew it wasn't. He took a deep breath and walked down her hall but as he approached the room, he heard a man's voice.

"Emma, I'm worried." The man paused and sighed. "I love you."

"And I love you too." He poked his head around the corner of the door frame to see a man with curly brown hair sitting on the edge of her bed. She placed her hand on his forearm and smiled up at him, "but don't worry, I'll be fine."

_Okay, _he thought, _family loves one another right? Even if he isn't family, why should I care?_

"What about the wedding?"

His head shot up at her statement.

"Don't worry about our wedding, Em. It's not like I'm pulling you out of the hospital for it. We'll get married when you're out."

_Why didn't he think of this? Why wouldn't she have a man in her life? It would make sense, she was beautiful and funny and kind, but why wasn't she wearing a ring? He could have slapped himself. It was hospital policy to take off jewelry when someone was admitted, in case they swelled and it cut off circulation or something of the sort._

He was so caught in his own thoughts he didn't even realize that the man was approaching the door. He tried to look like he was walking and managed to walk right into him.

"Sorry mate."

"Not a problem," Graham said picking up the drawing that had fallen to the floor, "is this yours?"

"Uh," he ran a hand through his hair, "no, someone probably dropped it." He grabbed the picture from the man, crushed it into a ball and leaned into her room, tossing the image in the trash. He turned quickly on his heel and went in the opposite direction, ignoring her confused look that was burning into his neck as he walked out.

* * *

She stared at Killian as he walked away from her until he was beyond her sight. She placed her feet on the ground, taking her time to walk over to the trash can and pick up the ball he had thrown in there before running off.

She steadied herself and sat in her wheelchair, too exhausted to make it back to her bed. She opened the paper and saw Darth Vader looking up at an alien ship shining a beam down on him. He even added "Take Me To Your Leader" underneath the sith lord's feet. She smiled at the thought. Why would he put so much work into this and then throw it out and run off?

* * *

Emma woke up to Johanna's face smiling down on her.

_I swear, she's made of sunshine or something. _

"Emma, you're going to be doing your physical therapy with Doctor Blue today. She's a lovely woman who I'm sure you've seen around."

"Where is Doctor Jones?"

"He called in sick today. Don't you worry, Doctor Blue is fantastic and I'm sure he will be back soon enough!" She smiled and patted Emma on the shoulder. "Now shall we get you on some wheels?"

Emma gave a laugh. "Let's do it."

But her mind was spinning. Johanna, sunshine, the woman who did not seem capable of it, just lied to her face. It was obviously not something she was doing on her own accord, and maybe he went home but he was absolutely in today. She saw him herself.

Emma remained silent and sat through her therapy with Blue. Emma wasn't sure if it was because the woman wasn't Killian or what exactly it was, but something felt off about this woman. She needed to figure out what was going on with Killian. On her way back to her room, they passed his office and he was indeed not there. Emma felt a weight on her chest. She wasn't quite sure why but she was sad that he wasn't there. An aching in her chest proved it. She missed him. When they arrived back into her room, she crawled into bed because there was simply no solution quite like sleep.

* * *

The next day, Ruby was bouncing on her bed. "What do you mean you don't love it?!"

Her best friend pouted next to her with a wedding magazine on her tray table. "Ruby, I love you but I am not wearing that dress at your wedding!"

Graham let out a laugh from the doorway and his fiancée sent daggers his way. He held up his hands innocently and walked over, placing a kiss on Ruby's head. "You know I love you and if that is what you want, then that of course is what you should have."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Way to give in, Humbert!"

He shrugged. "I am spending the rest of my life with her. I don't want her to kill me first."

Ruby smirked and patted his hand. "Good boy!"

Emma laughed until her attention was caught by a knock on the door. Johanna stood there with a smile on her face.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Miss, but it's time to see Doctor Blue."

"He's still out?"

She nodded sadly.

Emma looked to her friends. "Alright lovebirds, I mean this in the most loving way, but get the hell out."

Ruby leaned in and kissed her best friend on the forehead. "Okay sass pants. Love you, call me after."

"Love you too." She smiled until they left and the realization set in.

He was hiding from her. Then an idea hit her like an eighteen wheeler. She asked Johanna to pass her the bag of clothes Ruby had brought her on her first day here. She fished in it and found a card. She flipped it over and smiled. She took out her phone, sent a text and then got in the wheelchair to go to therapy.

* * *

This had to be dumbest thing he had ever done. He was hiding from a patient. It seemed silly, but he couldn't bring himself to see her yet so here he was in his pajamas on his couch watching NCIS reruns. The case was unfolding on the television but all he could see in his head was her and her fiancé. Why in the hell did this bother him so much? So what, they flirted a little – maybe. He wasn't even sure. He's flirted with women before, but none of them stuck in his head like this. He threw a pillow over his head, as if blocking out light could block her out of his head. **Buzz. Buzz.**

He removed the pillow to see his cell phone lighting up on the table. He opened the phone to see a text from a number he didn't recognize.

_Princess Leia, did Han Solo blow you off again? –Darth Vader_

He smiled at the phone. He had forgotten that he scrawled his number on the back of his card in case she needed anything and couldn't reach him on his professional line…but what would he say to this? It was not professional to answer with the truth. Instead, he closed out of the text and returned to watching Tony and Ziva bicker on the screen.

* * *

She came back into her room and immediately grabbed the phone. No new messages. This was worse than she thought. Maybe he was busy, or actually sick. She tried to push it out of her mind and called her family to check in. David was outside playing football with Henry but her mother answered.

"Of course we're doing fine. Don't worry about us, silly!" Her mother said in her carefree voice, which Emma was sure that even if the world was ending around them, her mother would still be talking like that.

She heard her phone beep in her ear. "Okay, give Henry my love. Love you guys, I'll call later."

"Love you too." She ended the call and scrolled to her messages to see one new message from Killian.

**Are you okay?**

Wait, what? She thought to herself. She remembered when he gave her the card. "My cell phone number is on the back, in case you need something and can't reach me through my professional line." She facepalmed herself. Of course he thought something was wrong. She probably interrupted his dinner with some hot bombshell or something. God, how could she have been so stupid?

_Yes, I'm sorry for bothering you._

Within seconds, her phone was buzzing in her hand.

**You didn't. **

She smiled to herself at his quick response. Did he actually care what she thought?

_So what's up?_

**Not much, you?**

He was opening up like a freaking lock box. She rolled her eyes, as if he was in front of her. It took all of her strength to not call him out on his poor deflecting skills.

_Living the lavish lifestyle. Didn't you hear? I'm now a fabulous rock star with millions of dollars in the years since you've left._

She wasn't sure why she felt like the dig was necessary. It bothered her that he threw the picture out and she didn't know why. She was ripped out of her thoughts by a buzz of her phone.

**I'm sick.**

If bullshit is a disease, then oh yes sir. You should be quarantined, she thought to herself. He was clearly going to be difficult and she couldn't read him over the phone so this would have to wait. She closed out of the text and sighed.

And they say women are complicated…

* * *

The next day she woke up to a woman whistling in her room. Emma cocked an eyebrow at Johanna.

"Come, come, dear ask!" Johanna sang.

"Ask?"

"Yes, ask!"

Then all of a sudden, Emma realized what she meant and perked up. "Am I having therapy with Doctor Blue today?"

"No!" said Johanna with a smile. "Not that she is not a lovely lady..."

Emma began to laugh. She didn't know that her concern was so obvious but Johanna saw it. Johanna was bursting at the seams to finally be able to tell Emma that he had returned. Emma smiled to herself and moved into her wheelchair.

"Thanks Johanna."

"Of course, dear." Johanna held a warm smile on her face and began rolling her down the hallway. As they went, Emma's excitement faded into anger as she realized one thing. He had lied to her.

Johanna rolled her into the therapy room and her eyes immediately found him, rustling with some papers in the corner. Johanna excused herself and they sat there for a moment in silence.

Clearly, she was going to have to start this.

"They didn't quarantine you?"

She could see the muscles in his back tense through his shirt at the sound of her voice. He would have laughed at it, if he didn't hear such venom in her words. It shot into his heart as he turned, only becoming angry. For all she knew, he was sick. Why should she care?

"People get sick, Swan. It happens."

Her eyes were burning into him with such intensity that his eyes flickered to his feet.

"Oh yes, they do. Probably why I'm in a hospital," she said rolling herself towards him. "But most people aren't seen the day they supposedly called out sick throwing this in my trash can." She shoved the picture into his hand.

He closed his eyes as pain spread across his face. He didn't need to look down. He knew what it was. When his eyes opened, all traces of pain were gone. She almost thought she had imagined it as his all too even tone said, "As your doctor, you should know it is not sanitary to go digging through the trash for some paper."

Fire burned behind her eyes. "What is your problem?" She sucks in a large gulp of air, "Why the hell are you hiding from me?"

His eyes soften as she tries to catch her breath, instinctively he goes to touch her arm but pulls back. "I.." How can he even answer this?

"What are you afraid of?"

"I made this," he said crumpling the paper and returning it to the trash, "when I wasn't thinking. I apologize if it made you or your fiancé uncomfortable."

He was trying to keep his voice steady and failing miserably.

"My what?"

He gave her a look as if to say, are you really going to make me say it again? She thought back to that day, and held her hand up. "Wait, Graham? The man who was in my room? Oh brother…" she rolled her eyes. "You're a dumb ass."

His face flashed from confusion to anger to hurt in moments in front of her. Before he could open his mouth, she said, "Graham is engaged, yes. He is engaged to Ruby. The wedding he was talking about was theirs. They are waiting for me to get well because I am the maid of honor." He turned red as she said, "Come on, we have a therapy to do."

He nodded silently at her.

They went through the motions in a deafening silence. After they finished therapy, he was paged into another room.

Before he left, he said, "I'll get Johanna on my way back."

She nodded and watched him walk out. When she was sure he was gone, she rolled herself to the trash and pulled out the image, flattening it on the arm of her wheelchair. She looked down and smiled at it.

* * *

That evening, Emma sat on her bed with a frame on her lap. She had asked Ruby to bring her one and her friend simply raised an eyebrow when she saw the picture, but she didn't ask. Ruby somehow knew, she always knew. Emma opened the back of the frame and slid the crinkled paper into it.

_I wonder what made him make this..._

Emma was jarred from her thoughts from a slight knock on the door. She looked up to see him with his hand on the back of his neck, uncomfortable as ever and about to turn away.

"Come in." She said, closing the frame and putting it on her table. He pulled a chair over and sat, staring at his feet. "It's customary to talk when you visit someone, Jones."

He gave a snort. "Sorry, it's just…this is"

"Awkward. Yes, it is. Why would you care if I'm engaged?"

He looked like he had just gotten hit by a train. He looked away from her and his eyes caught the frame. He picked it up. "You know Swan, this is the second time I've told you not to dig in the trash." He said, the sides of his mouth curling into a smirk.

"Well maybe if you stopped throwing my things away, I would." She smiled and their eyes as seriousness fell over them. "Thank you Killian, I love it."

"You're welcome. I'm sorry I avoided you. I was embarrassed and it just seemed so unprofessional." He was blushing again. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, but if you're worried about that, you may want to go before they see you in here. They take my vitals soon."

"Uh," he rubbed the back of his neck, "actually, I told them…I mean, if you're comfortable with it of course, that I'd do it for them because I wanted to check on you."

She was speechless for a moment. "I mean, sure. That's fine."

"Okay." He started moving around getting things together. He was cleaning off his stethoscope when he heard her say, "so what did you do in your illusive life of hiding?"

He smirked, and sat down next to her. "Can you lean forward?" As she obliged, he realized the one thing he hadn't before. He had never thought of listening to someone's lungs as intimate until he realized that he was going to have to untie her johnny. "I'm sorry, I just have to…"

"Oh, right. Sorry." She said, reaching back and untying her hospital gown while she held it in the front. For a moment, his breath caught in her throat as the gown fell off of her back, exposing her skin. He couldn't help the desire to kiss her shoulders, but wait, what was he thinking. This was a patient. He shook it off, and began listening to her lungs asking her to breathe in as deeply as she could. In between breaths he said, "I watched NCIS reruns." He felt her shake with laughter underneath his hands. "Oh, is Darth Vader the judging type?" he said with a smile. He put the stethoscope down and began retying her gown for her. "Anyways, your lungs sound good." He helped her lean back down on the bed and she turned to look at him.

"Well, that's the first time I've heard that."

He smiled more to himself than to her as he lifted the sleeve of her gown to place the blood pressure cuff on her arm. As he slid his hand down her arm to reach for his wrist, he felt goosebumps on her arms. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said, "Hold on." He walked to the closet and got a blanket. He placed it over her. "I never even thought to ask if you were cold, sorry." He said with a smile, and returned his hand to her wrist. If only he knew that she wasn't cold at all. His touch sent chills through her bones and lit her skin on fire all at the same time, but she couldn't tell him that. She just smiled and nodded at him. "Thanks…so Kate NCIS or Ziva episodes?"

"Ziva."

"Of course, you're one of those people," she said with a laugh.

"Don't get me wrong, I liked Kate but Ziva's suffering is so much more true to life. She wasn't thrown at Tony just because she was a female. There was a bond first and I like that."

"Oh my god," she said, laughing. "You are such a girl."

"Oh shut up Swan." He said, nudging her with his arm. "Now, sh, so I can take your blood pressure."

They both sat in silence for awhile as he finished taking her vitals. "I'll let Doctor Whale know how you're doing and we'll see what he says, okay?"

"Okay."

"You'll be better before you know it." He patted her on the thigh reassuringly, before he realized what he had done. He froze, looking down realizing his hand was still on her thigh. "I'm sorry. I just meant" He was turning bright red.

"It's alright Princess Leia," she said with a smirk, "I won't tell Han."

"Good, it'd break his heart." He said with a wink. "Goodnight Swan."

"Night." She smiled at him and watched him walk down the hall. When he was out of her sight, she curled back under the blankets, still smiling.

* * *

Later that night, when he was finally getting into his bed he heard his phone buzz.

One new message from Darth Vader.

_Hey Killian?_

**Yes Swan?**

_When Doctor Whale comes back, will he be my doctor again?_

Killian felt his heart drop. He had never thought about that. He felt sadness fill his chest as he re-read the words.

**I would assume so but if you're uncomfortable, I can get you another doctor until he comes back. **

He knew this wasn't appropriate. None of it was, but he had to know if he had wronged her. He had to be able to make it right.

_No. Is there a way you can be my doctor after he comes back? I mean, I just don't like the idea of switching doctors all of the time._

He smiled down at the phone as he typed three words.

**As you wish.**

It was too late for appropriate, he thought to himself. He was falling for her.


End file.
